Relationship Management
Relationship management is your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully. This ensures clear communication and effective handling of conflict. Relationship management is also the bond you build with others over time.
Most people have a spring in their step when they are in a new relationship, but stumble when trying to maintain the relationship over the long run.
Relationships take work that consists of time, effort, and know-how. The know-how is emotional intelligence. If you want a relationship that has staying power and grows over time, and in which your needs and the other person’s needs are satisfied, the final EQ skill-relationship management is just what the doctor ordered.
Since you are half the relationship, you have half the responsibility of deepening these connections.
7 Strategies to Strengthen Relationships
Be Open and Be Curious
Being open means sharing information about yourself with others. When people know about you there’s less room for them to misinterpret you.You also need to be interested in the other person’s story as well. In other words, you need to be curious. The more you show interest in and learn about the other person, the better shot you have at meeting his or her needs and not misinterpreting them.
Remember the Little Things That Pack a Punch
These days in both personal and work-related relationships, there are far too few “please’s,” “thank you’s,” and “I’m sorry’s” being expressed.
Begin to make a habit of incorporating more of these phrases into your relationships. Or, rather, please make it a habit to use more of these phrases during your day. Thank you.
Build Trust
Trust is something that takes time to build, can be lost in seconds, and maybe our most important and most difficult objective in managing our relationships.
Trust is built through open communication; willingness to share; consistency in words, actions, and behavior over time; and relatability in following through on the agreements of the relationship
Identify the relationships in your life that need more trust, and use your self-awareness skills to ask other people what needs to happen to build trust-and listen to the answer. Asking will show that you care about the relationship, which helps to build trust, and deepens the relationship.
Get Mad on Purpose
Expressing anger in the appropriate ways communicates your strong feelings and reminds people of the gravity of a situation. Expressing anger too much or at the wrong time desensitizes people to what you are feeling, making it hard for others to take you seriously.
Relationship management is about making choices and acting with the goal of creating an honest, deep connection with others. To do this, you need to be honest with others and with yourself, which sometimes means using anger with a purpose.
Acknowledge the Other Person’s Feelings
If you’re known for being terrible with relationships then this EQ strategy may be a great place to start getting better.
One key to managing relationships is leaning into your own discomfort and taking a moment to acknowledge, to stifle, or change, other people’s feelings. If someone is holding back tears you can say “I’m sorry you’re upset; what can I do?”. This shows someone that if crying is what’s going to help them, then you’d be willing to find them a tissue. Simple acts like this acknowledge the emotion without making them a big deal.
Use your social awareness skills, listen to someone intently, and summarize what you heard back. It shows you care. It can make someone feel calm just by paying attention and noticing feelings.
When You Care, Show It
Things as simple as a greeting card or something else inexpensive, yet meaningful, that sums up how you feel are all you need to make an impact and strengthen a relationship.
Offer a “Fix-it” Statement During a Broken Conversation
When a simple discussion breaks into a disagreement or gets stuck going around in circles, we need a fix it. No matter what is said or who starts it, it’s time to refocus and fix it. Someone needs to step back, assess the situation, and begin to rebuild the conversation with a fix-it.
To do this, let go of the blame and focus on the repair. Do you want to be right or do you want a resolution? Self-manage to put your tendencies aside and chose the high road.
A fix-it statement can be, “This is hard,” or asking them how they’re feeling. This will help you maintain open lines of communication when you’re upset, and with conscious effort and practice, you will be able to fix your broken conversations before they become damaged beyond repair.
Content Inspired by the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves
